I had to share this piece from Debra Ollivier’s book, “What French Women Know.” Enjoy!
On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:
Two Italian men and an Italian woman.
Two French men and a French woman.
Two German men and one German woman.
Two Greek men and one Greek woman.
Two British men and one British woman.
Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman.
Two Irish men and one Irish woman.
Two American men and one American woman.
One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
One Italian man has killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily in a menage a trois.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping together and the Greek woman is cooking and cleaning for them.
The two British men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the British woman.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting insrtuctions.
The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, restaurant and laundry, and have gotten the women pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.
The two Irish men have divided the island into north and south and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few liters of coconut whiskey. However, they’re satisfied because the British aren’t having any fun.
The two American men are contemplating suicide because the American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her more nicely than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why they didn’t bring a damn cell phone so they could call 911 and get them all rescued off the godforsaken island in the middle of freaking nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping.